How to Stop Thinking You’re Not Good Enough
Do you ever find yourself thinking you’re not good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, or whatever enough? And that these very thoughts are preventing you from moving forward?
I have.
We all have.
You’re not alone.
But, what if you’re ready to move forward?
You’re ready to ditch your limiting beliefs, end negative self-talk , banish body bashing, and redefine a new relationship with YOU?
Because you absolutely can. This is possible for you.
You just need some tools, which is where I come in.
Today, I’m sharing my 3-step success formula and 5 strategies you can start using ASAP to change the most important relationship of all–your relationship with YOU. Start doing these things consistently, and you’ll be shocked at what you can accomplish.
Let’s get started…
The first step to making these feelings less scary is recognizing them.
Be aware of when they come up, what brings them up for you, and how they make you feel.
The second step is owning them
Because once you own a thought, you’re not afraid that it’s there anymore; instead you look at it objectively. Recognizing, owning, and being comfortable with the thought takes away its power—meaning it doesn’t get the same emotional charge out of you—and you’re finally able to work through it.
Example:
Insecure thought: “I’ll never be able to get where she is. I’m not good enough. I might as well stop what I’m doing… there’s no point.”
Owned thought: “OK, so I feel a little insecure right now, but that’s OK. Feeling like this simply means I want something that she has. I may not get exactly right where she is right now, but that’s OK! I’m me. I’ll get there in a way that’s right for me. I just need to take it one step at a time, and I am. I’m willing to change. I can see this differently.”
The third step is empowering your thoughts for success.
There’s no right or wrong away to do this. The phrase different stokes for different folks applies.
Here are 5 things to empower your thoughts for success.
They work from the inside out—just as a lasting life transformation should.
1. Replacing negative disruptive thoughts with positive ones
Instead of, “I’m not good enough. I hate my ugly body.”
Try, “I am good enough. I’m smart, funny, kind, quirky, kinda weird but I like it. I appreciate my strong arms, the fact I have an able moving body, and my shiny hair. I’m grateful I’m healthy, that my thighs grant me the ability to get from place a to be, effortlessly and that I’m strong.”
Shift your perspective from what’s wrong with me? to what do I appreciate about me?
Having problems here? Email, text, or ask your best friends or family members, they’ll help get your head straight and cast aside some of those plaguing negative thoughts. Plus, who doesn’t want to hear nice things about themselves?
Why do this?
Our thoughts influence our actions, and our actions determine how well we treat ourselves in body, mind, and soul. Start noticing how you speak to yourself. Once you have this down, you can start reframing your thoughts for the better. The key thing is having them feel true to YOU. The mindfulness here will transcend into every area of your life.
2. Adding ownership back to your thoughts
I mention this at the beginning of the post, but there’s another way you can to do this that’ll help you call your own BS. Sometimes we need that.
For example, instead of, “I can’t bring lunch to work, I just don’t have time to do that.”
Try, “I can bring lunch to work, I just haven’t been making time.”
The “bring lunch to work” piece could be anything: mediating, exercising, saying “NO” more, going to sleep earlier, having that rough conversation with your partner, making “me time.” It could be anything!
Why do this?
By owning our thoughts and actions, we bring back our power. We stop making ourselves the victim. Instead, we become the victor. This is a huge difference! When we come from a place of power, confidence, and belief in our own possibilities, we are likely to get way more done. And when we get way more done, we believe we can get even more done, and it’s like this positive snowball effect of goodness that keeps on giving back.
3. Rewrite your story
Instead of, “I always have to exercise. I grew up like this, if I don’t exercise I feel guilty.”
Try, “I do love exercise. It’s been a part of my life for years. But, I have the power to decide when I exercise and don’t. I can listen to my body. If I feel like exercising, I will. If I need a day off, I’ll take it. It’s that simple. I’m open to change.”
Instead of, ” I’m a black and white thinker, so if I have a bad meal or food day, it’s over. I just keep eating really bad. I’m not the type of person who can have an empowering relationship with her body. I’m just not.”
Try, “ I do, right now, have a black and white relationship with food, but it doesn’t have to be like this forever! I can change. I am changing, I will change. I’m working on an empowered me. I’m rewriting the story.”
Why do this?
Stories that keep us stick usually have us in the victim’s shoes. Where something horrible has happened to us, and we’ve let it define us. We tell ourselves and others our story over and over and over to protect us. It becomes our ingrained truth. It’s as if it keeps a shield in front us and prevents us from having to step up to the plate and work on our fears.
Maybe you’re having trouble loving because you’ve been cheated on. Maybe you’re having a hard time losing weight because you’re a helpless sugar addict. Maybe you can’t love your body because you inherited your mom’s thighs.
Think about it—how is your story serving you? And are your stories true at this current moment? Or, are they stories from the past that you’re clinging on to?
Take a moment and think about it. We often don’t even realize that the stories we tell ourselves are lies, they’re from our past, and we’re letting them define our future. Let the “old” story go. Create a “better” version that feels true to where you’re going on your journey now. Rewrite your story from a place of empowerment that serves you.
4. Envisioning
This is one of my favorites.
Instead of panicking and envisioning the worst possible scenario when negative thoughts arise, take a moment and breathe. Breathe in for 10 full seconds, hold your breath for 10 full seconds, and exhale for 10 full seconds. Repeat 3-5 times.
Once you feel calmer, envision your happy place, or where you’d like to be in a month, 6 months, a year, or several years from now (whatever works for YOU). Where are you physically, spiritually, and emotionally???
Journal it out. Get clear.
You could have a few visions—a relationship, a wellness, and a work vision, just to name some.
Channel your vision/s when you feel anxious about any of these areas of your life or close your eyes and bring them up randomly throughout your day. The first measure is more of prescriptions for calming nerves and the second is preventative.
Why do this?
Envisioning trains our brains for thoughts of the possible and thoughts of what we want, what we can have, and what we can make happen. Envisioning what success looks like to you in different areas of your life is a powerful, powerful tool. Let yourself be bold and daring. Go ahead! Envision the life you want! When you have an idea of where you want to go and what you want to happen, it’s sooo much easier to get there.
5. Choose energy shifting words
Sometimes all it takes is a couple of empowering words to change your mood. Remember that time you where freaking out and a friend calmed you down with just a few simple words?
You can do this for you too. Once you recognize and own your thoughts, explore what words will help calm you down and shift your energy to a more positive space once they arise.
My personal energy shifting word is “change.” This simple word helps snap me out of negative space back into reality. What would be your word?
Why do this?
By saying your energy shifting words, you ground yourself, become recentered, and get back into the here and now. And sometimes that’s as simple as it is. You’re training your brain for the better.
xx
Corinne